Blogizdat (Don't Think About It)
"...nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart"
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Your Space Is MySpace
Scenes From the MySpace Backlash
By Kevin Poulsen
Last December, a mischievous student used a home computer to create an account on the social networking site MySpace bearing the name and likeness of his school principal, Eric Trosch.
The profile the Hermitage, Pennsylvania, Hickory High School student bestowed on his principal was not kind. For "birthday" he listed "too drunk to remember." And for vital stats like eye and hair color he wrote, simply, "big" -- a poke at the educator's girth that he managed to weave into most of the 60-odd survey questions in Trosch's fictional profile: Do you smoke? "Big cigs." Do you swear? "Big words." Thoughts first waking up? "Too … damn … big."
The teen told some friends at school about the gag. Big mistake.
Space out the rest here.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Music Monday - #44
Friends, countrymen, I come not to bury Hilary Duff but to praise her. Okay, that's a stretch. But, in spite of myself, I'm kind of a fan, and this week the Music Monday spotlight is on young Lizzie's real-life alter ego.
Face it, her songs have some of the most insipid lyrics since Steve Miller first annoyed us with 'Abracadabra,' - check out 'Beat Of My Heart' for a particularly eggregious example - but she has a nice voice, she looks great, and she's a pretty good performer.
Anyway, I've got no downloads to offer this week, but I put together a collection of streaming video of some of Miss Duff's recent songs, as well an episode of Punk'd from a couple of years back, along with links to lyrics for each the music vids. Please watch, and do enjoy
Grudgingly or not, it's worth paying Microsoft for this protection
BY JAMES COATES
Microsoft's OneCare Live is a little like the protection racket. The company's new software aims to protect Windows users from those who know how to exploit flaws in its own software, namely Windows XP — for a price.
But I've been using OneCare for the last couple of months as a beta tester, and I have to say that it sure keeps the hoodlums out of the candy store.
After making this product available since December to anybody who cared to volunteer for a trial run, Microsoft has announced that OneCare passed with flying colors and will go on sale to the public in June.
OneCare, which costs $49.95 per year for as many as three computers, will go head-to-head with products from other companies with anti-virus, spyware-killing and firewall protection programs for Windows. The two fattest targets are Symantec's Norton Utilities line and McAfee's anti-virus and system security products.
Now, after at least a decade of letting Norton and McAfee protect Microsoft customers from Microsoft's flaws, Microsoft decided to do it themselves.
Go get a Mac after reading the rest here.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Stand Up Comics
Friday, February 24, 2006
Friday Night Mencken Fix
A little Friday night reading from the Sage of Baltimore, from "In Defense of Women":
26. Disparate Unions
This brings us to a fact frequently noted by students of the subject: that first-rate men, when they marry at all, tend to marry noticeably inferior wives. The causes of the phenomenon, so often discussed and so seldom illuminated, should be plain by now. The first-rate man, by postponing marriage as long as possible, often approaches it in the end with his faculties crippled by senility, and is thus open to the advances of women whose attractions are wholly meretricious, e.g., empty flappers, scheming widows, and trained nurses with a highly developed professional technic of sympathy. If he marries at all, indeed, he must commonly marry badly, for women of genuine merit are no longer interested in him; what was once a lodestar is now no more than a smoking smudge. It is this circumstance that account for the low calibre of a good many first-rate men's sons, and gives a certain support to the common notion that they are always third-raters. Those sons inherit from their mothers as well as from their fathers, and the bad strain is often sufficient to obscure and nullify the good strain. Mediocrity, as every Mendelian knows, is a dominant character, and extraordinary ability is recessive character. In a marriage between an able man and a commonplace woman, the chances that any given child will resemble the mother are, roughly speaking, three to one.
The fact suggests the thought that nature is secretly against the superman, and seeks to prevent his birth. We have, indeed, no ground for assuming that the continued progress visualized by man is in actual accord with the great flow of the elemental forces. Devolution is quite as natural as evolution, and may be just as pleasing, or even a good deal more pleasing, to God. If the average man is made in God's image, then a man such as Beethoven or Aristotle is plainly superior to God, and so God may be jealous of him, and eager to see his superiority perish with his bodily frame. All animal breeders know how difficult it is to maintain a fine strain. The universe seems to be in a conspiracy to encourage the endless reproduction of peasants and Socialists, but a subtle and mysterious opposition stands eternally against the reproduction of philosophers.
Per corollary, it is notorious that women of merit frequently marry second-rate men, and bear them children, thus aiding in the war upon progress. One is often astonished to discover that the wife of some sordid and prosaic manufacturer or banker or professional man is a woman of quick intelligence and genuine charm, with intellectual interests so far above his comprehension that he is scarcely so much as aware of them. Again, there are the leading feminists, women artists and other such captains of the sex; their husbands are almost always inferior men, and sometimes downright fools. But not paupers! Not incompetents in a man's world! Not bad husbands! What we here encounter, of course, is no more than a fresh proof of the sagacity of women. The first-rate woman is a realist. She sees clearly that, in a world dominated by second-rate men, the special capacities of the second-rate man are esteemed above all other capacities and given the highest rewards, and she endeavours to get her share of those rewards by marrying a second-rate man at the top of his class. The first-rate man is an admirable creature; his qualities are appreciated by every intelligent woman; as I have just said, it may be reasonably argued that he is actually superior to God. But his attractions, after a certain point, do not run in proportion to his deserts; beyond that he ceases to be a good husband. Hence the pursuit of him is chiefly maintained, not by women who are his peers, but by women who are his inferiors.
Here we unearth another factor: the fascination of what is strange, the charm of the unlike, [hliogabalisme]. As Shakespeare has put it, there must be some mystery in love--and there can be no mystery between intellectual equals. I dare say that many a woman marries an inferior man, not primarily because he is a good provider (though it is impossible to imagine her overlooking this), but because his very inferiority interests her, and makes her want to remedy it and mother him. Egoism is in the impulse: it is pleasant to have a feeling of superiority, and to be assured that it can be maintained. If now, that feeling he mingled with sexual curiosity and economic self-interest, it obviously supplies sufficient motivation to account for so natural and banal a thing as a marriage. Perhaps the greatest of all these factors is the mere disparity, the naked strangeness. A woman could not love a man, as the phrase is, who wore skirts and pencilled his eye-brows, and by the same token she would probably find it difficult to love a man who matched perfectly her own sharpness of mind. What she most esteems in marriage, on the psychic plane, is the chance it offers for the exercise of that caressing irony which I have already described. She likes to observe that her man is a fool--dear, perhaps, but none the less damned. Her so-called love for him, even at its highest, is always somewhat pitying and patronizing.
Indeed. Read the whole thing here.
'Psycho Path' Voted Wackiest Street Name
Farfrompoopen Road, the only road to Constipation Ridge, lost to Divorce Court and Psycho Path, which placed No. 1 in an online poll of the nation's wildest, weirdest and wackiest street names.
Mitsubishi Motors sponsored the poll on the Web site http://www.TheCarConnection.com and more than 2,500 voters cast their ballots during a week of voting that ended this month. Winners were announced Friday.
Enjoy the rest of the story here.
This Is Cool
Shap Shirts has a novel idea to sell: enter the URL of your blog, and a 'word cloud' is created from key words on your main page, as seen above. $18 gets it put on a tee-shirt for your pleasure and edificaction.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Taking Names And Kicking Fanny
David Horowitz documents Dangerous Professors.
Where Is The Love, Y'all
Tristan Miller ponders the age-old conundrum:
Why I Will Never Have A Girlfriend.
Psoriasis In Minnesota
Enjoy the photo gallery here.
Dang, Missed It Again This Year
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Shadow Knows
Monday, February 20, 2006
Music Monday - #43
Elliott Smith Edition:
Before you go further, download the free Elliott Smith MP3's posted on
1) - Music Monday #18
2) - Music Monday #26
3) - Music Monday #29
Well, this week I've got a few more to add to the list of downloads:
First, Epitonic has an Elliott Smith demo called Waltz No 1. It's not stellar, but it's worth hearing.
Second, Crobin presents a compelling Quicktime video for King's Crossing. The audio is choppy, but the images are cool.
Third, a set of demos that would have been Disc Two of what ended up being 'From A Basement On The Hill,' can be downloaded here.
Fourth, Mark Martucci records a lovely tribute called simply 'Missing Elliott.'
Finally, if you've wanted to know the lyric to any Elliott Smith recording, check out 'Sweet Adeline.'
And lastly, if you haven't gotten 'From A Basement On The Hill,' go buy it, order it, check it out of the library, do what you must, but by all means, listen. It's one of the best collections in recent years, and you should hear it at least once - or a hundred times - before you die.
Tower of eBabel
Why e-Books Are Such a Mess and How They Can Improve
The digital publications industry is in chaos, with competing e-book formats resulting in a lack of content that plagues the industry. Mark Carey explains how this impasse came about and suggests what can be done to fix the problem.
Global e-book sales in 2005 were projected to reach about $15 million, according to the International Digital Publishing Forum (IDPF), a major trade group. For comparison purposes, e-book sales for the first half of 2005 were up 72% over the same period in 2004. While the increase is impressive, the actual number is just a speck of the $23.7 billion in sales of paper books. A Biblical story comes to mind from the wasteful and confusing proliferation of formats—the tale of the Tower of Babel, whose builders failed for want of a common tongue.
eRead the rest here.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
One More Gadget
I just got one of these. (Built-in WIFI is cool.)
Don't I Know You?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Republicans And Pharisees
From The Washington Times:
February 15, 2006
By Jennifer Harper
Who are the happiest people in America?
Conservative Republicans are among the most joyous, according to a survey released yesterday by the Pew Research Center for the Public and the Press, which found that 47 percent of respondents who were both conservative and Republican said they were "very happy."
The survey was specific. This isn't just ho-hum happy. This is emphatically happy.
Smile thru the rest here.
WHAT Happens When You Flush?
If this doesn't make you buy a new toothbrush, nothing will. If you flush the toilet without first closing the lid, germy droplets of bacteria from the toilet are released into the air and will likely land on your toothbrush--and just about everything else in the bathroom.
"The water aerosolizes 20 feet from the center of the flush," Dr. Philip M. Tierno, author of "The Secret Life of Germs" and a professor at New York University Medical Center told Albany, New York's Capital News 9 TV. He advises shutting the lid before you flush and rinsing your toothbrush with mouthwash or peroxide every single day. Or just store it in the medicine cabinet.
Another college professor who studies germs up close and personal is Dr. Charles Gerba, an environmental microbiologist from the University of Arizona. Lest you think Tierno is exaggerating, he's not. Gerba told the Arizona Alumnus magazine that if you look at close-up photos of the "germy ejecta" that are spewed in the air from a toilet flush, they "look like Baghdad at night during a U.S. air attack."
Flush the rest here.
Study: Dolphins Not So Intelligent On Land
From The Onion:
GAINESVILLE, FL—Although dolphins have long been celebrated for their high intelligence and for appearing to have a complex language, a team of researchers at the University of Florida reported Monday that these traits are markedly less evident on dry land.
According to study researchers, a group of 25 bottlenose dolphins removed from their holding tanks failed 11 exercises designed to test their basic cognitive abilities and reasoning skills.
Yeah, it's mean, but they'll never read it. But you can, here.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Big In Riyad
This is what they were looking for.
Don't Get Sick
Risk of Death Can Soar When Spouse is Sick
Robert Roy Britt
Wed Feb 15, 6:00 PM ET
When a person over 65 is debilitated, the odds of dying within a year can increase dramatically for the spouse, a new study shows.
If a man is diagnosed with dementia, for example, the risk of death skyrockets 28 percent for his wife over the next year. If it's the woman who suffers dementia, the husband's death risk climbs 22 percent.
The increase in risk varies dramatically by condition, however. The partner of a spouse hospitalized for cancer typically incurs no heightened odds of death. For a stroke, the risk to the partner goes up about 5 percent.
The differences depend largely on how disabling a condition is, explained study leader Nicholas Christakis of Harvard Medical School. People with cancer often function relatively normally between treatments, while dementia patients require constant care.
Read the rest here.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
If you are a farmer and looking for love, check out this.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe
From The Onion:
EPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air
WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to a dramatic increase in cases of starry-eyed gazing and spontaneous poetry, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a general health warning Tuesday for hazardous levels of atmospheric romance across the entire North American continent.
"Early indications of romantic exposure include a flushing of the skin around the face, neck, and chest, accelerated heartbeat, rapid eyelash batting, and sighs," EPA administrator Steven Johnson said at a morning press conference. "Left untreated, the ailment progresses rapidly, leading to aimless strolls, floral purchases, and a form of acute and regressive aphasia in which the victim's speech degenerates into that of a young child."
According to Johnson, teens, recently married couples, and people who have not yet had all of the hope drained out of them by bitter life experience are at the greatest risk.
Love the rest here.
Monday, February 13, 2006
Music Monday - #42
This week I'm repeating something I ran last year, with a twist.
The November 2004, Wired Magazine was delivered with what they called The Wired CD, liscensed under something called Creative Commons. As Wired puts it: "Rip, mix, burn. Swap till you drop. The music cops can't do a thing - it's 100 percent legal, licensed by the bands. The Wired CD, copyrighted for the 21st century."
All tracks available here, or just download the links, below:
The Wired CD
:01 Beastie Boys/ Now Get Busy
:02 David Byrne/ My Fair Lady
:03 Zap Mama/ Wadidyusay?
:04 My Morning Jacket/ One Big Holiday
:05 Spoon/ Revenge!
:06 Gilberto Gil/ Oslodum
:07 Dan the Automator/ Relaxation Spa Treatment
:08 Thievery Corporation/ DC 3000
:09 Le Tigre/ Fake French
:10 Paul Westerberg/ Looking Up in Heaven
:11 Chuck D with Fine Arts Militia/ No Meaning No
:12 The Rapture/ Sister Saviour (Blackstrobe Remix)
:13 Cornelius/ Wataridori 2
:14 Danger Mouse & Jemini/ What U Sittin' On? (starring Cee Lo and Tha Alkaholiks)
:15 DJ Dolores/ Oslodum 2004
:16 Matmos/ Action at a Distance
Okay, so what's the twist?
One of the artists represented on the Wired CD is the now-infamous DJ Danger Mouse, who was reponsible for creating one of most notorious albums of recent times, the mashup of The Beatles and Jay-Z. In spite of great efforts extended in trying to suppress The Grey Album, it is available for Bittorrent download here.
And, as if that weren't enough - and don't you think it ought to be? - check out this mashup live performance (below) by Sir Paul and Jay-Z, along with Linkin Park, at the Grammy Awards, last week.
And, even if he isn't the very Sir Paul, have some fun with Dancing Paul.
That's all for this time. I'll try to bring back the usual format next week.
Ron Howard's daughter?
Altman's Film Wasn't Political on Purpose
Director Robert Altman says his big screen adaptation of "A Prairie Home Companion" wasn't intentionally political, but "reflects the truth of what's going on in ourselves."
The film was in keeping with Garrison Keillor's tradition of weaving politics into his radio show, but not overtly so, Altman said
Believe the rest of it, or not, here.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Adult ADD Strengths
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Play Triple Yahtzee online for free, here.
I went shopping in two or three stores for Valentine's Day cards for Mrs. Muzzy and the girls the other evening and was struck by a couple of things:
1) There are a whole lot more cards for women to buy for their pookies than the other way around, by almost 2 to 1. Of course, men tend to buy fewer cards than do women, but one would think Valentine's Day would be the great equalizer. In fact, I should think it would be the one holiday of the year when men might buy *more* cards than their S.O.'s. Of course, I am not maintaining that men don't buy more, only that they have fewer choices.
2) Among the greater number of cards women have to choose from, there are a large number of them that make sport of the lunks they have chosen to date and marry. Sure, there are a few such cards in the 'Sweetheart/Wife (Humorous)' section, but certainly not as many, by a stretch. Oh, and BTW, the humorous card are alot less expensive than the romantic ones we testosterone-fired oafs are supposed to be offering the fairer sex.
It seems, then, that the ladies have more cards to choose from, and are free to buy cards that poke gentle fun at their kinda-sorta beloved's prowess at, ahem, fixing the pipes. But we gents not only have a smaller selection, but are then strongly encouraged to cough up five dollars for an over-priced, over-sized card, draped in satin, containing a rhyme worthy of Robert Browning, or Robert Frost.
Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what kind I bought?
Stolen, ahem, borrowed from Emily.
Four jobs I've had:
1. College Cafeteria Dishroom Worker
2. Daycamp Counselor
3. Office Supplies Salemans
4. Welfare Case Worker
Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. This Is Spinal Tap
3. Apacolypse Now
4. Lost In Translation
Four places I've lived:
1. Princeton, New Jersey, US
2. Recife, Pernambuco, Brazil
3. Tulsa, Oklahoma, US
4. Richmond, Virginia, US
Four TV shows I love to watch:
2. American Idol
3. The Late Late Show with TV's Craig Ferguson
4. Desperate Housewives
Four Websites I Read Daily: (just four?)
1. Hugh Hewitt
2. Cox and Forkum
4. WSJ Online
Four places I've been on vacation:
1. San Jose, Costa Rica
2. Hearst Castle, California
3. Fortaleza, Brazil
4. Medellin, Columbia
Four favorite foods:
1. Korean Bulkhogi
2. South African Biltong
3. Brazilian Guarana Soft Drink
4. Minnesota State Fair Corn Dogs
Four places I'd rather be:
1. Porto De Galinha Beach, Pernambuco, Brazil
2. The Huntington Gardens, Pasedena, California
3. The Hermitage, Saint Petersburg, Russia
4. The Smithsonian, Washington, DC
Hmm, not easy to keep it to just four, each. No tagging, but if you like it, post this to your blog and comment back here, so I can take a peek.
Friday, February 10, 2006
I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me
From the Electronic Freedom Foundation.
February 09, 2006
Google Copies Your Hard Drive - Government Smiles in Anticipation
Consumers Should Not Use New Google Desktop
San Francisco - Google today announced a new "feature" of its Google Desktop software that greatly increases the risk to consumer privacy. If a consumer chooses to use it, the new "Search Across Computers" feature will store copies of the user's Word documents, PDFs, spreadsheets and other text-based documents on Google's own servers, to enable searching from any one of the user's computers. EFF urges consumers not to use this feature, because it will make their personal data more vulnerable to subpoenas from the government and possibly private litigants, while providing a convenient one-stop-shop for hackers who've obtained a user's Google password.
Read the rest here.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Mega-progress at a megachurch
By Jane Lampman, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
Thu Feb 9, 3:00 AM ET
In 1991, Pastor Jay Ramirez rented a room in a Ramada Inn off Interstate 95 and started preaching. Tonight he roves the stage of plush Kingdom Life Christian Cathedral, which is packed with an enthusiastic crowd. After 14 eventful years, his congregation, now about 2,300, is hosting an international conference on church growth. And Bishop Ramirez is ordaining pastors from several countries.
"God's going to knock us out of our comfort zones," he cautions the gathered faithful. "God is at work in the world ... and is building a spiritual city, a spiritual Jerusalem.... Every stage is going to be uncomfortable ... until we are in the divine order."
This nondenominational megachurch, which has passed through challenging stages itself, is now flourishing, along with hundreds of other megachurches that are reshaping the religious landscape in the United States. A national survey released last week found twice as many as there were five years ago. The late management guru Peter Drucker called the megachurch "the only organization ... actually working in our society," and said it had much to teach other institutions.
What makes them work? Why are Americans shifting in droves to the largest church communities?
Read the rest here.
The Egg Came First
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Send Early, Send Often
From The New York Times:
February 8, 2006
Low-Fat Diet Does Not Cut Health Risks, Study Finds
By GINA KOLATA
The largest study ever to ask whether a low-fat diet reduces the risk of getting cancer or heart disease has found that the diet has no effect.
The $415 million federal study involved nearly 49,000 women ages 50 to 79 who were followed for eight years. In the end, those assigned to a low-fat diet had the same rates of breast cancer, colon cancer, heart attacks and strokes as those who ate whatever they pleased, researchers are reporting today.
"These studies are revolutionary," said Dr. Jules Hirsch, physician in chief emeritus at Rockefeller University in New York City, who has spent a lifetime studying the effects of diets on weight and health. "They should put a stop to this era of thinking that we have all the information we need to change the whole national diet and make everybody healthy."
Read the rest here.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Where Is Jennifer?
This is a very sad story.
The Smoking Gun has got all the backstage riders you've ever wanted to see. Enjoy.
Llama For Your Mama
Stuck for romantic inspiration with Valentine's Day just a week away?
Then consider llamas.
A charity with the slogan "get calmer with a llama" is offering romantic country strolls for the lovelorn, leading a llama together around the picturesque Lake District.
"Chatting over a llama is certainly a novel way to meet people in a relaxed environment, and participants can enjoy a romantic picnic afterwards -- carried by the ever obliging llamas in their backpacks," said owner Mary Walker.
Walker, whose Lakeland Llamas charity helps the disabled, is keen to assure lonely hearts that contrary to their bad press, the South American relatives of the camel do not habitually spit at or bite people but are in fact friendly and docile.
Is This A Great Country Or What?
Lingerie Bowl - the home of the Lingerie Football League (LFL).
Monday, February 06, 2006
Music Monday - #41
Lyrics Of The Week:
Couldn't print Apollo Sunshine lyrics here, just a bit ribald for the familiy audience. But the band's still great.
Featured Free MP3 Downloads Of The Week:
This week, a couple of hopping MP3's by Massachusets band Apollo Sunshine:
From All Music Guide:
"Boston neo-psychedelic/indie rock trio Apollo Sunshine take conventional songs and filter them through a pop underground sound that's reminiscent of Georgia's Elephant 6 collective, Cheap Trick, and the Flaming Lips. Comprised of vocalist/bassist/keyboardist Jesse Gallagher, guitarist/vocalist Sam Cohen, and drummer/percussionist Jeremy Black, the group released its debut, Katonah, in 2003 on the Spin Art label, followed by an eponymous sophomore effort in 2005."
1) - "Today Is The Day"
2) - "Eyes"
(Music files courtesy Amazon.com. More about Apollo Sunshine at Wikipedia.)
If your Inner Punk is looking for love, this might just be the place: Punk Connection. Or not.
Enjoy this lovely free MP3 of "The Greatest," by Cat Power, courtesy Matador Records.
And download Buck Howdy's full album of country-fried tunes "Giddyup!," complete with album cover art, courtesy the artist himself.
There are some cool Nickleback audio and video clips on the band's website. The Audio is mostly Real Audio Streams only, except for one streaming WMA cut of "Animals," but the vids can be downloaded from just below the playing pane. (I recommend "Photograph.") Enjoy.
That's all for this week.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Almost-Live-Blogging The Soup, Ehr, Bowl
I just turned on the telly to the SuperBowl, just to say that I'd watched some of it. But I must disclaim: I don't watch sports, usually. I don't care about sports, usually. I didn't even know until just now who was playing, or where. Really. And I still don't care, now that I know. And, yes, I understand football, I just don't care.
Stevie Wonder just phoned in a tepid pre-game performance. Actually, it was worse than that. It was embarrassing. Sad that hundreds of millions around the world will see their first glimpse of the legend looking that bad.
John Madden was introduced as having been inducted into the Hall Of Fame yesterday. Holy Cow, he looks like Jabba The Hut.
The Powers-That-Be just had all the MVP's of all the SuperBowls march out onto the field. Lotsa black guys in the recent years, lotsa white guys in the early ones. I thought Joe Namath looked quite good for his age, but Bart Star looked a wreck. (Oh yeah, had to laugh, the lead-in video flashed the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's and 00's, with blip-images that made each decade famous. The 90's was Bubba wagging his finger, and pouting: 'I did not have...' and they cut away to the next image. heh)
The Steelers just ran out onto the field to lotsa yellow hankies waving in the crowd. I have to wonder if there are any Seattle fans in the park.
Oops, can't type now, gotta be quiet: we are having moment of silence for Rosa Parks and Coretta Scott King, and the Katrina victims.
Okay, back. Katrina means New Orleans - psst, don't tell Mississippi - which leads to bringing out Dr. John and Aaron Neville (from New Orleans), and Aretha Franklin (from Detroit), to sing the National Anthem. Lordy, Neville sounds horrid. I usually find him compelling, but not today. Aretha just kicked in, making him sound even worse. Ihh. That was not good.
(Cool, they cut to a shot of Condi Rice, hand over her heart, smiling, looking hot: our future first female president. I wish.)
Great Disneyworld commercial. Liked that. Over too soon. Next? Whuh? What's Harrison Ford doing in an NFL Superbowl Dr. Seuss commerical? Weird.
Now Madden is back on, giving insightful tips like pointing out that 'it's important to run the ball up the sides, but running up the middle is hard.' Wow, I can see why he got the job.
Huh? They are introducing the team *captains?* Football leadership by committee? Go figger. [Yeah, I know about the Special Teams.]
Tom Brady flips, Seattle calls tails, Seattle wins the toss and receives.
Perky reporter Suzy just made some perky pronouncement from the field. I paid no attention, just like I'm not going to pay much attention to this game.
Oohh, there's a bevvy of pretty cheerleaders waving pompoms. I'm paying attention, after all, I guess.
(I'm looking forward to the half-time, when someone form the team that's losing at that point will say something about how important it is to 'take the game one play at a time,' and how they are going to come back on the field and 'give it 110 per cent.')
Who's the half-time show? The Stones, right? I may have to turn this off until then. Start me up, indeed. I'm bored already.
Madden being wise: 'they want to throw the ball to loosen up the defense.' Huh? Makes me realize just how much I miss Howard Cosell. Hey, even Rush or Dennis Miller could do better than this.
Great Bud Lite and Burger King Commercials. Wow. That's alot of advertising dollars.
I have watched a little more game, and a few more commercials, but I just can't do this. I'll watch a few more minutes but I'm going to have to turn this off until at least the half-time show, maybe for the duration. The game is silly enough, but the color-commentary is so bad, I just can't listen to Madden any more: 'it all starts with good pass protection.' Oi vey.
Oh, great Alleve commercial with Leonard Nimoy. And I liked the Ameriquest one just now. And Bud Lite's commercials are always good for a laugh. Some smart enterprising soul will get all these ads together and re-broadcast them, in order, later tonight, sans game. I suppose they are all on the web, somewhere. I'll try to find them and post a link.
Attractive reporterette Michelle just said something undoubtedly important from the field, but she's too pretty, I couldn't pay attention to what she was saying. What can I say? Don't judge me too harshly. I'm a guy. Trust me, several hundred million other guys just had the same reaction.
Good Diet Pepsi commercial with Jackie Chan. And I liked the Miller Genuine Draft ad just now.
Hmm, interesting shot of downtown Detroit. I wonder how much it cost to turn on the lights in all those office buildings on a Sunday night? It's a dead downtown, it's what Detroit's best known for, who do they think they are fooling?
Could this get any more dull?
I'm back for a few.
Go Daddy just ran their ad. The Go Daddy Girl's strap didn't break this year. Whew. That's alot of Southern Baptists that won't have to find another Domain Registrar. That's all I'm sayin'.
[UPDATE: after reviewing the tape, it's clear that there was a fumble, that the strap broke: old guy had reach for his oxygen. At least there was no tight end in motion.)
Huh? Poseidon? I saw the 70's version of the movie when I was fifteen. With Sally. In Maryland. My first date. Ever. Wanted to hold her hand. But she left to hang out in the lobby with her friends. At the beginning of the movie. Talk about a disaster movie. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Ihhh... Hugh Hefner just said the Edie is his fave, on Desperate Housewives. For having lived around and with beautiful nekkid women all his life, the man has no taste.
Okay, here's an ad with a woman cooing about making The O part of her life. Anytime, day or night. Overstock.com. That's what I thought she meant.
Back to the game: Steelers score. Madden just told us that that ball only has to go barely into the end zone to count. Just a bit. Really. 'If any part of the ball breaks the plane of the goal line, it's a score.' Sigh.
Disneyworld ad again. I like those. More NFL ads. Back to the game. Yawn.
John Madden: 'you first get into field goal position, and then you try for the touchdown.'
You know, I haven't done one in a while, but I was thinking of writing a new 'Remembering Church,' but I got to thinking: the SuperBowl will do, it's kind of like watching one of those big TV churches. I mean, you got the First Church of Fooball, holding worship in a large building, they have a televised service, with spirited music, with a motivated congregation waving their hands high during worship, there's a pitch for money for worthy causes, a pitch for products, the priests consult canon law and excommunicate offenders, the faithful do good deeds for the community. Yeah, it's pretty much just like church.
Madden again: 'Too close to the sideline...you always want to keep a cushion between you and the sideline.' Grrr.
More good beer commercials, and another lame and self-serving NFL Superbowl commercial: 'Tonight we're all connected by the game, we just wanted to say thanks, we're proud to be part of the family.'
Hugh Hefner just said that Desperate Housewife Edie needs to settle down and stop fooling around. He was surrounded by his several blonde girlfriends. Okay. I'll smile. But it's not that funny.
Halftime Report: at least there are some guys who can talk football, 'Seattle did everything but get on the scoreboard.' Deep. Time to check out and get supper for my girls.
Back for a little of the halftime show with the Stones. Gotta say, they all look old as the hills - well, they are - but they are rocking the house: Ron and Keef are laying down the licks, and Mick is prancing about with the energy of a man half his age and not an ounce of fat on his bones, doing something new and something old, just launched into 'Jumpin Jack Flash.' It's funny, looking out over the crowd and seeing thousands of cellphones bobbing, all sending pics and sound to the loved ones back home, no doubt. Charlie Watts looks good. Man, they sound out of tune on Jack Flash, but still, they are hot. At least all the young kiddies watching just got to see where The Killers, and The White Stripes, and The Hives, and The Strokes, and The Vines, and even Franz Ferdinand belong in the Rock and Roll Family Tree. The Stones are legends for a reason, and we just saw why.
Crap. I just checked, no Desperate Housewives tonight, only Grey's Anatomy after the postgame. Grey's Anatomy? That's as boring as this game. Buncha interns playing 'doctor.' Yes, I meant that.
They are still showing replays of the First Half plays.
Madden: 'If Seattle would go back to the tempo they started with...'
Suzy reports: '...Coach told the team they just need to settle down.'
Michelle reports: nope, didn't hear a thing she said.
Games about to start, and I got to change a diaper, something stinks. Besides the game.
I'm back, Steelers are winning. Sideline mikes just picked up Bettis saying 'this is no different than week one, we just gonna keep doing what we do.' Sure. No different.
There's 3:04 on the clock, which means there are about 10 or 15 minutes left before the final whistle, but it's looking pretty grim for Seattle. Looks like the Steelers are going to win. But this sure isn't politically correct: environmentally-friendly ocean bird loses to symbol of the industrial age. That's just wrong.
Great Outback Steakhouse ad, and ABC is still hyping Grey's Anatomy, the poor man's ER, I say.
Game's almost done, Seattle can't get traction, party's over, oops, out of time. Pittsburg 21, Seattle 10.
Madden: 'he's just soaking in this moment, it doesn't get any better than this.'
Well, there's always Disneyworld.
The Vince Lombardi trophy just was presented to Daniel Rooney, the owner of the Steelers. Coach Bill Cowher sez he has a special bunch of people. MVP goes to Hines Ward, who just eloquently stated: 'I couldn't have did it without my teammates,' gets a Caddy Escalade for his efforts. Bettis sez: 'It's been an incredible ride, I'm a champion, the last stop for the bus is here in Detroit.'
Well, my work is done here.
But, before you leave, check out this year's Super Bowl Budweiser Ads and you can see all this year's best Super Bowl ads at IFilm. It's why we watch the game.